So you’re getting married! Congrats on your engagement—and our sympathies for having to deal with the confusing, confuddling labyrinth which is a modern wedding registry.
Registries can be tricky. Depending on who you ask, it’s rude to have one, rude not to have one, and even more rude to offer a non-traditional alternative. But however dedicated to doing things in fresh ways our society has become, the truth is this: a registry is traditional for a reason. Just as a wedding is a way for your loved ones to share in you and your new spouse’s commitment to one another, a registry is a way for your friends and family to contribute to the new life that they just helped launch.
But before you put three sets of china and a waffle iron on your list, read our best advice on what you really need on your wedding registry—and what you really don’t.
Do ask for:
1. Proper bedding
Having a big, fluffy, well-appointed bed is one of the little pleasures of adult life. If you’ve been subsisting on the same jersey sheets that you’ve had since you were a teenager, take this opportunity to register for a set of bedding. Don’t forget to ask for two sets for each bed in your home, so you can keep beds and guest beds clean.
2. Matching towels
After combining households and making one too many impulse purchases at Target, you can end up with a hodgepodge of towels in different sizes, patterns, and naps. Register for three sets of towels for each person in your home (so you can have one in the bathroom, one in the linen closet, and one in the laundry at any given time). Opt for pima, Egyptian cotton, Modal, or bamboo for absorbent towels that will last for years without fraying or fading.
3. Quality cookware
Unless you’re planning on eating out every meal for the rest of your life, you’re going to need cookware. Low-quality cookware will make your food stick to it, is tough to clean, and will fall apart quickly. High-quality cookware is a pleasure to use, cleans up easily, and will last a lifetime. Opt for a set that can go from the stovetop to the oven so you can cook the best steaks, roasts, and frittatas.
4. Basic barware (wine and cocktail glasses)
Whether you entertain often or only occasionally, you’ll be glad to have matching wine and cocktail glasses when you serve drinks to a table full of guests. Make sure to also include a glass pitcher for mixed drinks, and (if you want to be fancy) a wine decanter, so that you have something pretty and untippable to put on the table.
5. Decent dishes and silverware
If it’s just you and your spouse-to-be sharing a household now, than you’re probably thinking that you don’t need that many dishes to get by. That may be true—but keep in mind that your family may grow in the future, and you’ll want to have enough dishes and silverware on hand to feed your kids and throw a nice-looking Thanksgiving meal. Eight sets of dishware and silverware is a good number to have, but if you entertain often, register for twelve sets. Skip the formal dining set (it’ll just take up space) and choose beautiful everyday pieces in classic, neutral colors.
6. A good set of knives
Nothing makes cooking and preparing food easier than an ultra-sharp set of knives for chopping and slicing. A good set will come with some kind of warranty; Wüsthof and Zwilling knives comes with a lifetime warranty that allows you to exchange a broken knife for a brand-new one. You can buy complicated 17-item knife sets, but all the savvy chef really needs are the basics.
7. A vacuum cleaner
A high-end vacuum cleaner (read: one that actually works) is a surprisingly big-ticket item. But when it comes to keeping your home clean, nothing is a better investment. Choose a vacuum that can handle carpets, rugs, and hard floors, has attachments for upholstery, mattresses, and drapes, and has a HEPA filter. If you have pets, consider a vacuum that’s specially designed to pick up pet hair, such as the Dyson Animal.
Don’t bother with:
1. Trendy decorative accents
Those chartreuse pillows and matching throw that are just so in this season? They’ll wear out their welcome quickly—then you’ll be stuck with a highly sentimental, highly unattractive tchotchke that you can’t bear to part with. Steer clear of picture frames, vases, and all other decorative home accents that will be out in a season, and let your family and friends buy you things that will bring you joy for years to come.
2. Hobby gear
When you’re shopping for your registry, it can be really tempting to tell yourself that you’ll finally learn how to surf, or that you really need that cool folding kayak. Before you add items like this to your wish list, think hard—and be honest. If you really will use that combination solar stove/cell phone charger, it’s a great gift to ask for. But if it will end up sitting in your garage, let your loved ones buy you something more useful.
3. Luggage (unless you already travel a lot)
Bridal registry consultants are required to get you to put luggage on your registry, and will talk you into adding this item even if you’re not a big traveler. If frequent travel is already a big part of your life, then go for it. But if you just hope to travel in the future, then skip this item. Occasional traveling doesn’t really call for fancy luggage.
4. Complicated barware
Entertaining is super-fun. But unless you’re Don Draper, pass on the complicated barware. You don’t need a set of glasses for each different type of cocktail or beer, you don’t need a shaker, and you certainly don’t need a set of cut-crystal decanters to make your booze bottles mantel-worthy. If you make cocktails every day and like a retro vibe, then take the plunge. Otherwise, let your loved ones buy you something you’ll really use.
5. Specialty kitchen gadgets
An ice cream maker. A waffle iron. A pizza stone. Specialty kitchen gadgets are an often-requested registry item that just as often ends up sitting in the cabinet, taking up space and never getting used. Before you ask for that butter spreader or that rotating fork, think about whether you’ll really use it more than once.
6. His and Hers items
Almost every item that traditionally appears in a registry can be purchased in a His and Hers version. Like seasonal or trendy items, the time during which you’ll love using your Mr. and Mrs. bathrobes, mugs, plates, towels, cups, toothbrushes, baseball caps, and any other number of things will be short and sweet. After that, they’ll turn into clutter. Avoid these items, and stick to the classics.
7. Fine china or actual silver
Fine china and real silverware was once a standard registry item. But lifestyles have changed. Formal china is no longer expected, even at family gatherings. And do you really want to be stuck polishing twelve sets of silver every year? This is one tradition it’s okay to let go of. Instead, opt for classic everyday dishes and silverware that you can dress up or down. And if you really, really want fine china? Go ahead and put it on the registry—but follow style expert Isabelle von Boch’s advice, and use it everyday rather than burdening yourself with two sets of dishes.
Top Image Credit: Frances Herrera Interior Design
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